Breath of Freedom

Glimmer

At times the anticipation of pain will keep you stuck in the same place

It will give you inertia and though wisdom might give you a nudge you will ignore

Going on through the day with the fear in your heart

Nothing you do will involve the ‘all’ of you

For fear will overpower, override, overwhelm everything

Your heart will be like a small scared child

And as you sit through the darkness

Trying to stop the tears that glide incessantly

With quivering lips and shivering  fumbling fingers

Wiping those tears on your face

In the darkest hour sometime somehow

A thought, a place, a deed

Or some long lost fellow traveller’s words

Would whisper and echo

Through some small space in your heart unaffected by pain

here you would turn again and again to seek solace and comfort

To take that small step towards an unknown destination

As you feel the chain of pain slacken

You take a breath towards freedom….

Mindfulness, Yoga and Nature

July 27, 2012


Friday Bliss-Mindfulness, Yoga and Nature

Sun and Sea

I am grateful this week to my child who inspired me to create a Nature Journal What started as a plan to make her aware of nature and connect her with nature has made my connection more meaningful.

I met my friend’s parents this week. What amazing connection we have! I am grateful to have such wonderful people in my life.

I baked a cake for my daughter and was overwhelmed to see the stars in her eyes!

Ever since I brought mindfulness to my yoga session the routine has lost its repetitiveness. Instead, I look forward to yoga now.

After a long humid weather finally it rained today…It is bliss to watch rain drops fall to the ground. Each drop creates a circle just for a split of a second as it  vanishes…

A cup of ginger tea is ultimate bliss in this weather.

Linking this to Bliss List

Have a great week-end!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ode to a House

13 July 2012

Gratitude for this Friday

 This is an ode to a House, which was my childhood home.  This week it was sold off!  The house had not only provided me shelter but over a period of time, it had become my guardian.  It was here that I learned lessons for life and discovered the magic of love.

I thank you my house for whatever you gave me. I acknowledge every little thing about you today.

This Friday is dedicated to you my dear. With tears in my heart, I let you go…You will always be there even if you may lose your form.

 

Ode to a House

What do you do when the house you knew as a home is sold off?

What do you do when the house you ran to after school is not yours?

What do you do when you know that you cannot call on that house anymore?

What do you do when all you need is the comfort of those walls?

What do you do when you see each corner and crevice in amazing detail with closed eyes?

What do you do when you remember the summer evenings when wind entered from four corners?

What do you do when all you want to run to it and rest?

Perhaps a place, those stairs or the balcony with potted plants is the best.

And here was your kingdom of dreams.

Of fairies and angels imaginary lands

Stories that followed my tiny feet

The wooden Jasmin planter was a favourite haunt

A corner, few pebbles odds and ends

The hours thus spend were so rich.

Healing the scars before they became deep

And then I remember plucking the flowers.

Before going to school dressed up and all

In July when we had showers.

That lovely fragrance is still in my heart.

Running and jumping I grew up there.

From a baby to toddler to a child to a woman of the now

No matter why and how

I left you when I got my wings.

However, dearest house you never left me.

In the heart of my heart, you will always stay.

Loved and remembered every day.

You will be my solace, my comfort

My place my space my heaven for my soul

And I know when the tears glide.

Your memory will always make me smile.

If I ….

If I ….

We are happy

If I am unable to complete that ‘to-do list’  it is right.

If I want to sit with a cup of coffee with the pile of pending housework, it is OK.

If I spend some time in making soap bubbles with my daughter, it is fine.

If I go out in the rain without an umbrella to soak it is lovely.

If while baking with my child the cake sinks it becomes a happy memory

If Saturday afternoon lingers in the shadows with paper and threads, it is much fun.

If while walking on the everyday path, I take a turn towards left to walk into the woods it is fascinating

If tears glide while watching a movie as I break down there is nothing to hide.

Just let the wind into my hair and let the breeze whisper the secrets.

As I realize life dances in such moments of Divine grace.

Not Doing a Geographical

Resplendence

I have realised that peace cannot be attained by completing the list of never-ending tasks. It is not there at the end of the day. It cannot be found by ‘doing the geographical’. (I love this expression, which implies removing yourself from a place either literally or figuratively.) . So many times I walk away from people, places and feelings, those very times I fight with myself. It becomes a heady ride of emotions. Anger, guilt, resentment compete with each other to get my attention. Peace at such times stands in the corner like an ignored child who has lost all hope of getting the mother’s attention.

Recently, I have been letting the anger, and its friends do all the theatrics for me. I watch as a spectator and clap at their brilliant performances.  If I get totally engrossed I would buy their cause.  However, I simply watch as they perform the parts in this drama of everyday. They recede after sometime behind the curtains. Yes, they can again give another performance, but then I too will just watch. Instead of ignoring I would greet them with respect and let them be. At such times, I have noticed that while I am watching these antics, peace comes over to sit beside and holds my hand.

Being at peace is that small feeling of comfort in the depths of the heart unaffected by the outer chaos. It is like a warm glow of fire, which is so reassuring on a cold night. It blooms like a flower spontaneously with the touch of the rains after a storm. It is not the end of turmoil, but the discovery of order in ‘disorder’.   Peace is that space when colours brighten, and the day swings on the rope of happiness for no reason. Just as a child running in the open your soul feels the gay abandon of peace resonating in your heart as a joyous tune.

 

 

Dearest Muse

Purple and White

Dearest Muse,

I am lost for words dear Muse when I try to express my adoration for you. You gave words to my writing, you who created dreamy images from everyday things, gave me the ability to express thoughts, feelings and observations.

It is not easy to capture those ephemeral moments in words. However, I will try to tell you how much I love and cherish you. As a small child when you visited me through fairy tales to fire my imagination. Holding your hand I walked through troubled waters of life. In the day, I met you in innumerable forms. Sometimes you would dance on the violet petals, or you would peep from a tree branch making me curious. At times, you would fly in the sky and ride on the cloud boats. Clouds and rainbows were your favourite haunts.

Hey Muse, did you know you are my truest friend? You have made me what I am today. You never ridiculed my initial efforts or compared me with others. You just took me as a protégé and wandered through the land. You did not teach, neither did you preach nor had any rules. You just left me to experiment by lighting my curiosity with the matchstick of imagination. You had no agenda or expectations. The world around me had expectations rules and regulation, where freedom could hardly breathe. In the Muse land, however, I was allowed to float, fly walk, sit, brood, cry, talk or say ….It depended on me and no one else. In your presence, I could be ‘me’. There was no need to adhere to rules or be apprehensive about pleasing others.

I have enjoyed thoroughly, travelling with you Muse, to the perfumed lands of Arabia, the gardens of Babylon or to the land of Snow White and Cinderella.  You got me interested with the Sea King’s Kingdom and Prince of Light helped me to understand that darkness and light are two sides of a coin. You gave me the words to play. I devised the games and could weave fantastical tales you applauded wordlessly and that silent applause became a resplendent  song. Today, my heart sings the unsung melody which only you can hear.

Thank you Muse,

A bow with deep gratitude

Me

 

 

Where was the ‘Green’?

Where was the Green?

 A tree just outside my house was devoid of any leaves for more than two months. It stood stoically watching over, braving the harsh winter winds. There was nothing that spoke about the inherent life force. Other trees nearby had their green coat intact. Somehow, this tree looked odd with pointed brown branches fanning around its trunk aimlessly. There was nothing to hold your gaze except for looking unusual in the midst of green.

Throughout December, January and February, I observed without paying much attention.  I noticed and admired the other trees. However, yesterday morning the moment while walking out of the room to the terrace I stopped in my tracks. Ahead of me was a stunning sight! This tree was covered with delicate green button like leaves overnight. It was as if a master painter had worked all night to give it leaves. The tree looked glorious in the early golden light.

Delicate Green

Where was this ‘green’? My mind asked. However, my heart smiled. The Divine presence in my heart was totally aware. Was the tree conscious of this? Yes, it was and that was the reason it had calmly braved the winter standing naked in the outdoor. The tree spirit believed and trusted the Universe to provide what was needed. It was not affected by lack of attention by the passersby. It never complained and compared with the other trees only because it had absolutely understood that every journey is different. Each phase in life is transient, and patience is the sole key.

When we face challenges, and things are far from our liking why do we feel angry and frustrated? The mind gets busy finding strategies to overcome or override the present situation. Our hearts are blocked with anger, resentment and fear. We easily slip into depression or apathy. Feelings of self-pity overwhelm us as we constantly delve into comparison.

This nondescript tree appears to know and understand more than us. It embraces the process with an open heart and bares its soul to every experience. The tree TRUSTS this progression. It knows that (however, cliché It might sound) everything does happen for a reason, and transpires for the best.

Muse

Muse

Jasmin

 I Understand

 The Certain Uncertainty

And the Uncertain Certainty.

 But I

 Have Hopeless Hope

Or Hopeful Doubts

 I Search

 The Sum of Nothing

Or Nothing in Something

 I Laugh 

  at  little Inconsistencies

And at the Illusion in the Visions

 I Know

 Life moves in one Direction

But Mind can travel in both

  I  Still Dream

  Of the Impossible

And experience the Miracles around me

 I am Enthralled

  By the Infiniteness of the Universe

And  can see the Oblivion

 I Bow

 To the five Elements

To the Creator, Nurturer, the Destroyer

  I Accept

 That time is a flow

And the only concept constant is the CHANGE

 

 

Just Wait

Just Wait

Brilliant colors with glittering jewels
The perfect polish in blue to fuel
A glance, a view would make you sigh
Beauty was soft and grace so high
Proudly as it stood by

A hand touched as fingers trembled
It has been long journey, I said
What long journey someone asked
Well I was not always this
Then what were you, he asked

Once I was part of the Earth
Brown and dark at my birth
Out in the open to look and see
One day came and I was pulled
From my mother and it did hurt
My heart to part
Why me? I did cry
Just wait said the Lord

Then I went to the potter’s place
And here I lost all my space
They pulled and pushed
To hit me hard
I howled as they danced
To give me the shape, I never had
It made me wince
It made me cry
Just wait said the Lord

It was the wheel that made me spin
Dizzy spiral dance of fate
Pinching and altering I knew all
Ache that refuse to speak at all
Numb and sore it made me call
Just wait said the Lord

Painting and Bisquing I went along
Glazing took my breath away
It was the flames in which I found
The heat covered my spirit and soul
It was the end I thought
I closed my eyes and said a prayer
Just wait said the Lord

The darkness faded the light dawned
It was a moment to adorn
The jewels and pearls all came along
I looked at myself and did almost cry
That was a long journey,  I said

Yes, said the Lord
Journeys are hard
Journeys are long
For it takes the hurt
To make a song

Hope

White and Gold

At times, I find hope in the most unusual places …
It comes as a tearful hug from my daughter after an argument.
It wraps around me while talking to my mother who always thinks that her daughter is not eating properly…
It becomes a lovely green lettuce leaf or a bright orange in the vegetable market.
It walks with me as a little star, trying to desperately shine on a gloomy, foggy evening.
… It wafts along a hot cup of beverage after a tiring day….

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