Finding Yourself through Journaling and Free Printable Month Tags

When my daughter was very young, I enrolled in a creative writing course. I aspired to become a freelance writer.

Writing during her nap times and night was exhausting. Sometimes I would work at night to finish a project and had to get early for the next day.

There were so many things to be done for the family, for my baby, for the house that I had no time for myself.

Then one day I read a quote that jolted me out of the torpor.

Home Coming

Home Coming

I decided to spend some time doing something I enjoyed every-day without guilt. However, I found out it wasn’t easy.

Guilt is another tag for motherhood. Why DO we always feel guilty in spite of doing the best? I think it comes from a collective consciousness that we have inherited from our ancestral mothers.

I started writing Morning Pages as suggested by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way.

She says-

The bedrock tool of a creative recovery is a daily practice called Morning Pages.

Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning…….They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow.

I wrote whenever possible (morning or night) for five days a week. This practice became an anchor. I looked forward to that time with my journal.

Writing Space

Writing Space

However, diligently I wrote non-stop three pages mostly every-day. It helped to calm to my anxious mind. There were moments of clarity and profound wisdom.  Many times grace flowed divine and pure.

It gave me time and space to come with terms with the anxiety and stress of everyday life. It taught me that acceptance of any moment depends on your expectations.

Every day the blank page in my journal poses no expectations and yet offers infinite possibilities.

If you would like to explore writing a journal, here are few resources to help.

Journal Writing Tools

Journal Writing Resources

Here is a Christmas Gift for you!

Download this printable here to  get these lovely month tags for your journal.

Month Tags-page-001 F

Brush Strokes

I have been away from my blog for a long time.  The Windows software become corrupted and required formatting. As I pick the threads of blogging, I would like to share one of my paintings. I have just enrolled for a beginner’s course in water colour.

Curved, straight, wavy

Light, dark and shaky

Shadows light and luminescent

Subtle, delicate and blunt

Life is about joining the dots.

Slowly, passionately, lovingly

And everything will transform into a piece of art!

Breath of Freedom

Glimmer

At times the anticipation of pain will keep you stuck in the same place

It will give you inertia and though wisdom might give you a nudge you will ignore

Going on through the day with the fear in your heart

Nothing you do will involve the ‘all’ of you

For fear will overpower, override, overwhelm everything

Your heart will be like a small scared child

And as you sit through the darkness

Trying to stop the tears that glide incessantly

With quivering lips and shivering  fumbling fingers

Wiping those tears on your face

In the darkest hour sometime somehow

A thought, a place, a deed

Or some long lost fellow traveller’s words

Would whisper and echo

Through some small space in your heart unaffected by pain

here you would turn again and again to seek solace and comfort

To take that small step towards an unknown destination

As you feel the chain of pain slacken

You take a breath towards freedom….

Where was the ‘Green’?

Where was the Green?

 A tree just outside my house was devoid of any leaves for more than two months. It stood stoically watching over, braving the harsh winter winds. There was nothing that spoke about the inherent life force. Other trees nearby had their green coat intact. Somehow, this tree looked odd with pointed brown branches fanning around its trunk aimlessly. There was nothing to hold your gaze except for looking unusual in the midst of green.

Throughout December, January and February, I observed without paying much attention.  I noticed and admired the other trees. However, yesterday morning the moment while walking out of the room to the terrace I stopped in my tracks. Ahead of me was a stunning sight! This tree was covered with delicate green button like leaves overnight. It was as if a master painter had worked all night to give it leaves. The tree looked glorious in the early golden light.

Delicate Green

Where was this ‘green’? My mind asked. However, my heart smiled. The Divine presence in my heart was totally aware. Was the tree conscious of this? Yes, it was and that was the reason it had calmly braved the winter standing naked in the outdoor. The tree spirit believed and trusted the Universe to provide what was needed. It was not affected by lack of attention by the passersby. It never complained and compared with the other trees only because it had absolutely understood that every journey is different. Each phase in life is transient, and patience is the sole key.

When we face challenges, and things are far from our liking why do we feel angry and frustrated? The mind gets busy finding strategies to overcome or override the present situation. Our hearts are blocked with anger, resentment and fear. We easily slip into depression or apathy. Feelings of self-pity overwhelm us as we constantly delve into comparison.

This nondescript tree appears to know and understand more than us. It embraces the process with an open heart and bares its soul to every experience. The tree TRUSTS this progression. It knows that (however, cliché It might sound) everything does happen for a reason, and transpires for the best.

Just Wait

Just Wait

Brilliant colors with glittering jewels
The perfect polish in blue to fuel
A glance, a view would make you sigh
Beauty was soft and grace so high
Proudly as it stood by

A hand touched as fingers trembled
It has been long journey, I said
What long journey someone asked
Well I was not always this
Then what were you, he asked

Once I was part of the Earth
Brown and dark at my birth
Out in the open to look and see
One day came and I was pulled
From my mother and it did hurt
My heart to part
Why me? I did cry
Just wait said the Lord

Then I went to the potter’s place
And here I lost all my space
They pulled and pushed
To hit me hard
I howled as they danced
To give me the shape, I never had
It made me wince
It made me cry
Just wait said the Lord

It was the wheel that made me spin
Dizzy spiral dance of fate
Pinching and altering I knew all
Ache that refuse to speak at all
Numb and sore it made me call
Just wait said the Lord

Painting and Bisquing I went along
Glazing took my breath away
It was the flames in which I found
The heat covered my spirit and soul
It was the end I thought
I closed my eyes and said a prayer
Just wait said the Lord

The darkness faded the light dawned
It was a moment to adorn
The jewels and pearls all came along
I looked at myself and did almost cry
That was a long journey,  I said

Yes, said the Lord
Journeys are hard
Journeys are long
For it takes the hurt
To make a song

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